Gearing up for this trip, the thing that made me the most nervous was Morroco. It just seemed like such a - and this is gonna sound as stupid as it felt - foreign place to take kids. My fears were, like most fears, unfounded. Experience. The kryponite of ignorance.
1. We may not know French. They may not know English. And no one expects us to know Arabic. But everyone with the gift of sight knows the universal language of Gesture. Hand to the heart, thumb in the air, gun to the head, etc.
2. You're not going to accidentally get drunk. Alcohol is here, you just have to make it a priority. Self-proclaimed casual drinkers will die a dry death.
3. If you're bringing kids, bring a stroller. Unless you've got a seven pound newborn, carting that thing through the medina will exhaust you. And a motorbike would pick off a roaming toddler faster than an Eli Manning pass. J/K, Eli! We all know it was an organizational issue.
4. People are nice AF.
5. The harassment PR is BS (sorry, I'm in an acronym black hole.) Perhaps the kids thwarted the more aggressive salesmen, but after four days the biggest hustle we got was from the guys in Jemma El Fna trying to sell us freshly squeezed orange juice for 40 cents. Oh, and this guy:
Beware the snake charmer! Got Billy for 150 dirham. Not blaming him but... I'm carrying the money now.
6.On that note - Using children as a human shield is a really smart travel accessory. I did the same thing when we lived in Flatbush and I wanted to explore some of the more dubious side streets. Sure, there's fucked up people out there, but it takes a whole different kind of fucked up person to fuck with a parent who's getting her ass handed to her by two screaming children.
7. Bartering is expected. Be prepared to walk away but don't be a tight wad. You're in their country and paying a fraction of the price of what it would cost back home. Tourist tax is the price we pay for being able to fly on a big plane to a foreign land and buy bottled water.
8. If Marrakesh is your first stop and you're bringing kids, stay in a riad that serves dinner. We loved our place and our hosts were beyond incredible, but jetlag combined with being forced to eat out every night brings out the dickish-ness in children.
9. I saw more public restrooms in the medina in 4 days than I did in NYC in 20 years.
10. Marrakesh is beautiful. It's not scary. It's no more stressful than any major city I've been to, in the states or otherwise. If you've got an inkling to come, you should. And bring your kids. And if you don't have any, please write and tell me all the awesome things to do on our next trip, when we leave them at home.
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